The Sandy Place

 4

The Sandy Place

Rian didn't feel groggy, but he was very disorientated. He seemed to be floating. The weight of his body was almost imperceptible. He was more curious than alarmed. Nothing indicated he should be concerned, no pain, no obvious danger, just a strange floaty feeling that was as curious as it was comforting. 

Opening his eyes helped bring those sensations into context. He found himself in a longboat, in a copse of maple. The boat was suspended in the crotch of the oldest tree he could see within the small wood. Even from this elevated vantage, he couldn't see the sound, nor any rivers or lakes through the thicket of trees. The boat was full of water, which explained his floating feeling. The sun was warm, the water comfortable, and he was reluctant to climb out, but it occurred to him that he had better find his uncle Conny and their client Kiki. He remembered preparing for Conny's cockamamie plan to send Kiki home. He remembered singing, reaching out like a beacon to plead to some spirit, or god, or devil, that might have the power and the inclination to send her home. 

It was always a dangerous endeavor. To Rian's mind, gods, demons, devils and angels we all more or less the same. They could be trusted to  do nothing more than serve their own interests, and if you were able to convince them that your interests aligned, then it was worth working with them, but angels are just demons that prey on sinners rather than the other way around, and Rian had a hard time hiding his disdain for the hypocrisy. 

There were people at All God's, and others who lived Down on the Sawdust who thought his uncle Conny was a wizard. Conny would be first to tell them that no one could do magic. Rian had spent his whole life tagging along behind his uncle, and ten years as Conny's apprentice, gofer, confidant, and accomplice. Rian knew what Conny meant. It was true, if a person told you they could do magic, they were either a delightful entertainer, or a dangerous charlatan. Magic was a meaningless term for people in their field. There were powerful beings with queer, terrifying, indescribable powers, and there was everyone else. Prayers, supplication, bribery or love might get one of those beings to use those powers to do you a favor, but it was akin to playing the lottery, but if you lost, you lost far more than the price of the ticket. 

Rian always thought that Conny could do magic. His magic power was that the supernatural things in the world were more likely to listen to him than others, and when they did listen, they were more likely to either provide the desired service, or simply leave without exacting some terrifying price. Only once had Rian witnessed a terrible consequence, though he had heard of many more. Conny had something that they found entertaining, and when eternity is your reality, entertainment is an extremely valuable commodity. Rian considered the fact that he awoke in a boat full of water was probably an instance of mystical entertainment, and was extremely grateful it was so benign.

Having come to his senses and collected his thoughts Rain made to extricate himself from the boat, and climb down the maple. As he shinnied down the tree he saw a name stenciled on the gunwale of the boat. He couldn’t read the writing. It was in a script that was completely unfamiliar to him. Nevertheless, the words seemed to calm and comfort him in a way he hardly noticed, and certainly could not explain.

Once on the ground he made his way out of the stand of trees into a sandy clearing. There were some leaves and pine needles here or there, but otherwise it was a completely barren, soft sandy place. His feet sank into the sand as he walked which made it a little difficult to make good progress. The sandy place seemed to extend all around him, and beyond the trees behind. As he made his way he could see tall grass and trees in the distance, but he didn’t seem to be making any progress as he waded towards them through the sand. 

Rian kept walking, and walking, and walking. He did his best to keep heading west. He knew that if he did, he would eventually hit water, and from there he could find his way. He didn’t care if it was a river, or a lake, a pond or the saltwater of the sound. Water was his reference for all navigation. Upstream meant heading into the mountains and downstream meant heading to the sea. Rian’s world was surrounded by water. Every place in his sphere was either an island, isthmus, or peninsula. The only exceptions were the mountains themselves, and they were completely capable of standing up for themselves.

After what seemed like hours Rian could no longer see the maple copse that he had awoken in. He seemed to be no closer to the grassland that seemed just outside of reach. Surveying his surroundings, he found a ring of small stones about a meter across. Each stone was a different type, a different color, and they were arranged with such precise detail that Rian knew it must be a holy place of some kind. He noticed one stone had writing on it, and though he could not read the script, he recognized it as the same script he had noticed as he climbed out of the boat high in the trees. The stone itself was white and slate grey, and, if anything, looking at it reminded him of looking at the moon. Without thinking he murmured to himself, “Moon.”

I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU. 

“What? Who said that?” Rian exclaimed. From right behind him he heard a voice.

DON’T BE AFRAID, The voice said. I AM HERE TO PREPARE THE WAY FOR YOU. I’VE BEEN WATCHING YOU FOR A LONG TIME, AND RIGHT AROUND NOW IS WHEN YOU NEED HELP EVERY SINGLE TIME.

“What do you mean every time?” Rian asked. “I don’t think we have ever met before.”

TURN AROUND, AND SEE, AND LEARN, AND KNOW

Rian turned around, and there before him, standing in the center of the stone circle was his grandmother, Clare Athlone Doon. She was tall and thin, but taut like a recurve bow. She had died when Rian was only five years old, and in all his memories of her, she towered over him, a giant grown-up compared to his tiny childhood form. This grandmother that stood before him was no different. She stood over seven meters tall, four times his size, though Rian himself was a touch over six feet, he felt like a tiny child in her presence. Despite the shock and surprise of this apparition, Rian felt calm, and safe and warm. He had no clear memory of ever feeling this level of safety and calm.

“Who are you?” Rian asked. “How did I come to be here? Why have you summoned me?”

SUMMONED YOU? his grandmother laughed. The laughter sounded like a crystal wine glass tumbling down stairs, ringing out sharp and clear, but not breaking. IT WAS YOU WHO SUMMONED ME, SILLY. I NEVER INTERFERE ANYMORE. I HAVE TRIED AND FAILED TOO MANY TIMES TO INTERCEDE WITHOUT A SINCERE PETITION FROM ONE OF MY CHILDREN. IT IS YOU WHO CALLED ME, SO I THINK IT ONLY PROPER THAT IT BE YOU WHO DECIDES WHAT COMES NEXT.

Rian was deeply perplexed. He had no recollection of supplicating the intercession of any particular power. On the edge of consciousness he could remember just a moment while he and Conny were on the top parking deck of the Sinking Ship where he thought he had failed. The wind was far too strong, the metaphysical maelstrom was more chaotic and disorienting than he had ever experienced. Then, at the last moment when Conny’s eyes had changed. Conny’s ebony brown, deep, warm eyes had transformed to a glinting avaricious gold. Speckles of sapphire, emerald, and starlight shown out from the golden thicket of the stroma. It was terrifying.

He feared he had called the wrong spirit. He was scared for Conny, and what this meant. He felt an overwhelming guilt for failing his beloved uncle, who had taught him everything. The only one in the family who truly saw him for what he was, and valued his talents. Only Connaught knew what Rian was born to do, and only he was in a position to utilize those skills in a meaningful way. 

It was in his fear and shame that Rian thought back to his grandmother, Clare. She was the kindest, sweetest, most beautiful person Rian had ever known. She lit up whenever you entered the room. It didn’t matter who you were, she would light up at the sight of you. 

“Rian Doon! You come here right away and give me one of your special hugs!” she would exclaim to him. “This just makes my day. Seeing you here is the best thing that’s happened to me in too, too long.” Her greetings, her sincere interest in even the smallest details of life, her ravenous curiosity about your life was the ambrosia of human relationships. Her unmistakable tsunami of love was intoxicating, and every bit as shocking as a punch, but, you know, better than a punch.

RIAN DOON! YOU COME HERE RIGHT AWAY AND GIVE ME ONE OF YOUR SPECIAL HUGS!

At that sound, Rian crumbled. His knees gave way, and he slumped to the ground, wracked with tears. Sobbing both for his own failure, and a renewed sense of grief for the years gone by since his grandmother had passed away. Rian knew this thing, whatever it was, could not be his grandmother, but he felt the same love, the same protection, and fear or caution were completely stripped from him. He was open and bare and he spoke from the heart.

“Thank you... for answering…. my call... grandmother,” he forced out between sobs. “I’m so glad you came. I’m all alone, and I am afraid I have made a terrible mistake. Uncle Connacht is gone, and I don’t know how I got here. We were trying to help a young woman get home, but I can’t find her either. I’ve been walking for so long, but I haven’t seemed to get anywhere. I get farther from my starting point, but never get to my destination. How did you do it? How did you navigate a whole life and never fear, never go off course? I feel like I will always be in Conny’s shadow, but I am also far too small to fill his shoes, or to stand on my own. What do I do?”

RIAN FIONNBHARR DOON! YOU STOP THAT NONSENSE THINKING RIGHT NOW she exclaimed. YOU ARE THE MOST WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, KIND AND GENEROUS SOUL THAT I HAVE EVER HAD THE PLEASURE TO KNOW. YOU HAVE NEVER ONCE FAILED IN YOUR LIFE, EXCEPT THOSE SMALL, PETTY FAILURES THAT COME AS A CONSEQUENCE OF LEARNING. CONNY IS NO MORE LOST TO YOU THAN YOUR OWN SMILE. THAT YOUNG WOMAN, KIKI, WHOM YOU WERE HELPING. SHE AND CONNY ARE SAFE AS HOUSES. THEY HAVE NOT COMPLETED THEIR JOURNEY, SO THEY WILL STILL NEED YOUR HELP. YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN HELP THEM. SO, THROW AWAY YOUR WORRIES, AND ASK ME THE ONE THING YOU WANTED TO ASK WHEN YOU FIRST CALLED OUT TO ME.

Rain pondered this. What did he want? What was he hoping for when he invoked the image of his grandmother. He remembered being afraid. He thought he was failing. He was singing a song to feast the spirits, but he felt nothing coming back to him from beyond the veil. He felt like a fraud. He felt like maybe this time, his song would  not work, and Conny would be left in the lurch, looking a fool, and their client would be no better off than she had been before contracting them.

“I want to be useful,” Rian said. “I want to be reliable, and steady. I want to be like Conny. I want to be brave, and wise, and I don’t want to be afraid of failure anymore.”

RIAN. YOU POOR SILLY DOLT. DON’T YOU KNOW HOW MUCH CONNY LOVES YOU? HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU? THERE IS NO ONE IN THE WORLD LIKE YOU, AND WE WOULD ALL BE SO MUCH THE POORER WITHOUT YOU HERE FOR US. I’VE BEEN WATCHING YOU, AND LOVING YOU SINCE THE DAY YOU WERE BORN. THERE ARE MONSTERS IN THE WORLD, BUT NONE SO PERNICIOUS AS THAT VOICE IN YOUR MIND THAT TELLS YOU TO FEAR. YOU ARE KIND, AND STRONG, BEAUTIFUL AND BRAVE. YOU ARE JUST THE CHILD I WAS LONGING TO SEE ON THEY DAY YOU WERE BORN, AND YOU HAVE NOT DISAPPOINTED ME EVEN ONCE, AND I HAVE BEEN WATCHING THE WHOLE TIME.

I DON’T WANT TO ALARM YOU, BUT I AM NOT YOUR GRANDMOTHER CLARE. I AM YOUR GRANDMOTHER THOUGH. I AM GRANDMOTHER TO ALL. WHEN I WAS LONELY, I DREAMED YOU. YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE I DREAMED INTO THE WORLD BECAUSE IT WAS SO QUIET AND EMPTY AND I WAS SO ALONE. YOU HAVE SAVED ME, YES YOU, JUST YOU! I HAVE WATCHED YOU, AND LAUGHED WHEN YOU LAUGHED, CRIED WHEN YOU CRIED. I HAVE LIVED IN YOUR SHADOW, JUST OUT OF SIGHT, AND YOU HAVE GIVEN ME LIFE BY SHARING YOURS. THERE IS NOTHING I WOULD NOT GIVE YOU. NOTHING I WOULD NOT DO. ASK.

“Please. All I want to do is help Conny. Can you send me wherever it is that will help him the most?

I CAN DO THIS, BUT IT WILL BE HARD ON YOU. WOULD YOU NOT RATHER BE IN THE PLACE WHERE YOU CAN EARN THE PRAISE YOU DESERVE? PERHAPS YOU WOULD RATHER GO TO THE PLACE WHERE YOU WILL FEEL THE LOVE YOU RICHLY DESERVE.

“I can do without accolades,” Rian told her. “I only wish to right my wrongs, to overcome my weaknesses, and to help Conny return Kiki to her home, and the three of us all return to where we belong.”

VERY WELL. I WILL GIVE YOU TWO GIFTS. FIRST, I SHALL DO AS YOU ASK, AND SET YOU ON THE PATH. SECOND, I WILL GIVE YOU A GIFT. SHOULD THE WAY EVER BE TOO HARD, SHOULD THE PRICE OF YOUR PATH EVER BE TOO HIGH, HOLD THIS AND CALL MY NAME. She handed him a large opalescent moonstone pendant. I AM THE MOON, AND EVEN WHEN YOU CANNOT SEE ME, I CAN SEE YOU, FOR YOU ARE MY BEAUTIFUL DREAM.

Rian grasped the pendant, and the whole world twisted and crumbled and folded into itself. He suddenly found himself in cold salt water, in a longboat, high in a maple tree in a copse surrounded by a sandy place. His hand was still tightly grasping the pendant given to him by Grandmother. He knew it was real. He had actually spoken to one of the spirits, and she had spoken to him in return. This was a first. As he marveled at this miraculous event he noticed smoke rising just north of him. The tall grass surrounding the sandy place looked much closer now. He knew instantly that he was back in the world, and the most dangerous thing he would encounter for the remainder of the day would be people. He pulled himself out of the longboat, and found that the tree had branches placed just perfectly for an easy descent. 

Feet on the ground once again, he walked north towards the column of smoke coming from just over the rise.